So blessed to be reunited with my Sister Holly to walk the land together and meditate with the Oaks of Avalon Gog (male) and Magog (female) – the only surviving pair of 2000 year old oak trees that once formed the Druidic ceremonial avenue leading to the Tor.
As I leaned my body against Magog, I could feel her healing energy pumping into my sacral chakra and I heard a part of me whisper “stop prostituting me”.
I understood how my attachment to the trauma of her story is keeping her trapped in the wound, rather than free to run wild in the Garden of Eden as the divine Magical Child Self she was before the wounding.
I’ve been consciously working with these shadow parts of me since I first went into therapy 25 years ago, but during the last couple of months, there’s been a noticeable shift in the way they’re expressing themselves.
There’s a finality around their “NO MORE!” energy that seems to be mirrored on a macro-cosmic level, whereby we are being asked to say “NO MORE!” in relation to all power-over, prostituting behaviour that is endemic in our colonising, patriarchal society.
So “stop prostituting me” is the voice of the oppressed part of us/society that wants to be free from the oppressor who is keeping them stuck in the wounding through their attachment to it, because on some level it serves them.
It’s easier to see how this serves the oppressor/patriarchs in society, for as long as they keep the oppressed in trauma, they have all the power.
But how does the inner oppressor serve us? It doesn’t. It only serves itself, which is an internalised construct of patriarchal society that feeds off us believing its lies that we are in some way inferior or bad for whatever reasons we’ve been told, be they in relation to gender, race, sexual preference, economic status etc…
I don’t believe we allow these voices to have power over us just because we’re frightened of who we might be if we dare to shine our light.
I think we have been conditioned to believe these voices and at some point on the road to recovery, both individual and social, there has to be a revolutionary moment when we recognise this and say “NO MORE!” and overthrow the despot at the controls.
This is the process of inner and outer dismantling I am navigating – recognising the voices of patriarchy I have internalised, both as the oppressor and as the oppressed. And I have come to understand that sometimes it’s not possible to get the oppressor part of us back on board, to love them out of the shadows. Sometimes, I think they just need to be recognised for what they are – patriarchal constructs – and killed off.
Blessed be from Gog and Magog
Annabel Du Boulay